Bonner County
 

Bonner County, Idaho

VAST

V.A.S.T, Sexual and Domestic Violence Victim Advocates, Sandpoint Idaho

2 SAFETY PRECAUTION: Use of your home computer to view this site can be tracked by those with access to your computer. A safer option may be to use a public internet computer at a library or cafÈ. Email can be similarly tracked. Please use internet resources with care and caution. 1
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STALKING

If your abuser is a member of the law enforcement community, click here for links to websites specifically designed for victims of spouse abuse by law enforcement.

Idaho law defines stalking as any person who willfully, maliciously and repeatedly follows or harasses another person or a member of that person’s immediate family is guilty of the crime of stalking.
If you believe you are being stalked, ask yourself these questions:

  • Have you just ended a relationship?
  • Do you feel; fearful, depressed, anxious, suicidal, distracted, angry, stressed, exhausted?
  • Are you being harassed, annoyed with unwanted contact by phone calls, messages, emails, letters, surprise gifts and/or visits?
  • Are you receiving unwanted contact by your ex-partner’s family and/or friends?
  • Has your vehicle and/or properties been vandalized, tampered with or destroyed?
  • Are you being followed and/or your activities monitored?

If this sounds like your life, you are most likely the victim of stalking. Stalking is a CRIME and you CAN do something about it! No threat or unwanted contact should be dismissed or underestimated. It will get worse.

It will continue as he/she tries to gain back power and control over you. It is important to acknowledge those gut feelings that are causing you fear in the first place.

  • Take back control over your life! What to do:
  • Often law enforcement does not witness stalking first hand. Notify police and/or your local Victim Advocate Services Team.
  • Tell your family, friends, employees, neighbors, children’s school and daycare that you’re being stalked.
  • Keep a detailed log. Keep all evidence.
  • Obtain a Civil Protection Order.
  • Have a safety plan ready.
  • Always be aware of your surroundings; your safety is the TOP priority! (1)
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EMERGENCY SAFETY PLANS

A safety plan is a predetermined strategy for increasing the safety of a domestic violence or stalking victim and her children, whether she leave or remains in the relationship.

Prepare a “flight kit”:

  • Money
  • Important documents
  • Birth certificates
  • Social security cards
  • Health insurance info
  • Extra car keys
  • Eye glasses/ contacts
  • Phone numbers
  • Medication
  • Extra clothing
  • Items for the children
  • Drivers license
  • Account Information
  • Toiletries
  • Special photos/ belongings

Storing “flight kits”:

  • Do not keep kit where batterer will find it.
  • Keep kit at the home of a trusted friend or relative.
  • Contact a local shelter

Types of safety planning:

  • Safety planning for remaining in the relationship
  • Safety planning for leaving the relationship
  • Safety planning with the children

Safety planning- Remaining in the relationship:

  • Prepare a “flight kit”
  • Keep a list of phone numbers you can call for help
  • Tell a close neighbor about the situation/ ask them to call law enforcement if they hear anything suspicious
  • Make a list of at least 2 places you can go to be safe
  • Know where your local crisis center is
  • Keep a cell phone, change for a pay phone or calling card with you at all times
  • Open a savings account in your name, or keep money hidden
  • Plan where to go and how to get there/ rehearse your departure
  • Familiarize yourself with resources and their availability/ guidelines
  • Have photos taken of injuries you sustain after an assault (and again 48-72 hours later to show full effects of injuries)
  • Seek outside assistance (from law enforcement, crisis centers, counselors)
  • Let your employer know what is going on: contact Human Resources for a safety plan at work (ex. Screening phone calls, notifying security, description of abuser and vehicle)

If violence occurs when in the home:

  • Try to get to a room with an outside exit
  • Avoid rooms where weapons are available (kitchen)
  • Call 911 if possible

Safety planning- After leaving the relationship:

  • Alert co-workers, daycare, children’s school and neighbors to the situation
  • Get a Civil Protection Order
  • Report any violations to law enforcement
  • Keep a cell phone or change for a pay phone available at all times
  • Get a dog
  • Keep bushes and shrubs trimmed around the house
  • Keep outside of home well lit
  • Keep unlisted telephone number
  • Try to stay with a group
  • Change locks
  • Vary routine as much as possible
  • Set up password or photo ID system on all accounts (utility, insurance, bank, credit card)
  • Check to make sure staff follows procedure
  • Have new address deleted from alumni/ office listings that are distributed
  • Do not order items online
  • Get a P.O. Box
  • Keep a journal with you to document any violations or suspicious activities
  • If threats and harassment persist and escalate, check into availability of AWARE alarm
  • Document the date and time of the incident, witnesses who were present, and what the violation/ activity was

Safety Planning- Children:

  • Make sure the children know what to do if violence occurs in the home
  • Run to a neighbors home
  • Call 911
  • Help them select a safe place in the home where they can hide if unable to leave
  • Explain to the children that the police, CPS, etc. are there for their safety and that it is ok to come out of their hiding spot. (9)
  • Ask them no to try to intervene- they will likely be harmed as well
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CIVIL PROTECTION ORDER (CPOR)

If your abuser is a member of the law enforcement community, click here for links to websites specifically designed for victims of spouse abuse by law enforcement.

What is a CPOR?
This is a civil court order that can help protect victims of intimate partner domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking by preventing offenders from contacting victims. Petitions for protection orders are available at VAST or clerk’s office at the courthouse.Criteria for Issuance of a CPOR:

  • Physical injury Sexual abuse
  • Forced imprisonment or threat thereof of a family or a household member

The Law Permits the Following People to Request a CPOR:

  • Spouses, former spouses, persons related by blood, adoption or marriage Persons who live together or have lived together Persons who have a child in common regardless of whether they have ever been married or have ever lived together. Adults who have had or are in a dating relationship Parents, non-custodial parents, or guardians on behalf of minor children who have had or are in a dating relationship
  • Minor children who have had or are in a dating relationship

Cassie’s Law
A minor child who is in a violent dating relationship may seek a Civil Protection Order. Parents, non-custodial parents or guardians may petition for a protection order on behalf of minor children in a violent dating relationship.No Contact Orders
This is similar to a protection order because it also helps protect victims by preventing offenders from contacting victims only when there has been a criminal case filed.If you are granted a Civil Protection Order or a No contact Order, keep a copy of your order with you at all times. Make certain that a copy is given to your employer, children’s school and daycare, and in your home. (16)

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CONTACT US

VAST 24 Hour Victim Hotline: 265-3586
VAST email: vast@co.bonner.id.us
Emergency: 911
Sheriff: 263-8417
Dispatch: 265-5525
B.C. Prosecutors Office: 263-6714

VAST Office
215 S. First Avenue
Sandpoint ID, 83864
Located in Sandpoint Courthouse

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RESOURCES/LINKS

http://www.abuseofpower.info/http://www.life-span.org/policedv.htmIf you are a victim of domestic violence and your spouse works in law enforcement, your situation is very different than that of other victims of domestic violence.  The above websites assist victims of police domestic violence by directly addressing the sophisticated methods abusers use and by describing the roadblocks victims face and methods to overcome them.  Speak directly with an expert on Police Domestic Violence: Diane Wetendorf/ Battered Women’s Justice Project (800) 903-0111 ext. 1www.nicheadstart.orgNorth Idaho College Head Start Program provides low income families with preschool age children with: quality education, medical and nutritional services, family support services and much more!  Visit their website or call (208)263-6232.  Located at 101 S. Euclid in Sandpoint. www.abanet.org/domviol/internet.html
The American Bar Association Commission on Domestic Violence.  Information on how an abuser can discover your internet activities.  Advice on safety when using the internet.www.bonnercountyhomelesstaskforce.org
Non-profit organization located at 204 N. 4th Ave. #160 Sandpoint Idaho.  Call (208) 265-2952.  BCHT offers transitional housing with Blue Haven and Trestle Creek, Harmony House- a domestic violence safe house, Domestic Abuse Education Program, Women’s Support Group and Coordinated Community Response Team. www.bonnerso.org/Bonner County Sheriff's Office.  Located at 4001 N. Boyer Ave. Sandpoint. Idaho 83864.  Call 208 263-8417 or Fax 208 265-4378.  Open Monday – Friday, 8:00 am to 5:00 pm.  Closed weekends and holidays.  Emergency: Dial 911.  To Report Crime/Accident: 208 265-5525.www.ponderaypd.org/index.htmlPondery Police Department.  Located at 476770 Highway 95 North.  PO Box 500.  Ponderay, ID 83852.  Call 208-265-4251 or Fax 208-265-5226.  E-mail: infor@ponderaypd.orgwww.cityofsandpoint.com/Police/PoliceHome.htmSandpoint Police Department.  Located at 1123 Lake Street  Sandpoint, Idaho.  Call 208-255-1482 or Fax: 208-263-3587.www.pflag.org
National non-profit promoting health and well-being of LGBT people, their families and friends.  It offers support, education and advocacy. 
PFLAG of Sandpoint (208) 263-6699  P.O.B 1651 Sandpoint, IDwww.andvsa.org
A non-profit membership corporation of 21 programs statewide (Alaska) that provides services to victims of: domstic violence, sexual assault, offender services, and adult crisis intervention services.www.nwnetwork.org
The Northwest Network of Bisexual, Trans & Lesbian Survivors of Abusewww.ncvc.org
National Center for Victims of Crime.  Stalking resource center.www.nnedv.org
National Network to End Domestic Violencewww.privacyrights.org
Privacy Rights Clearing Housewww.fvpf.org
Family Violence Prevention fundwww.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo/
Violence Against Women Officewww.idvsa.org
Idaho Coalition Against Sexual & Domestic Violence.  Statewide resources for victims of domestic violence.  Materials, information and resource library for domestic violence agencies.www.leavingabuse.com
How to leave an abusive relationship safely; planning aspects.www.cyberangels.org
Providing for internet safety needs.  The first “cyber neighborhood watch” and oldest in online safety education.  Information on internet stalking.www.ncadv.org
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.  A nonprofit organization providing a national network for state coalitions and local programs.  Works with battered women, awareness campaigns, gives information and referrals, public policy and community issues.www.hotpeachpages.net/usa/states.html
International domestic violence and abuse agencies list.  Information in over 70 languages.  Domestic violence resources by state and national hotline listings.

www2.state.id.us/cao/documents/legaldir.htm
Directory of Idaho legal services.  Compiled information for Idaho residents needing legal services.

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ESPAÑOL

Violencia doméstica: protegiéndose a sí misma y a sus hijos¿Qué es la violencia doméstica?La violencia doméstica es el abuso por parte de alguien que proporciona cuidados, padre, esposo o pareja sexual de una persona. Puede tomar muchas formas. Aquí les describimos algunos tipos de abuso: el abuso físico es el uso de la fuerza física; el abuso sexual quiere decir cualquier actividad sexual forzada; el abuso emocional incluye amenazas, crítica constante y degradaciones. Controlar el acceso al dinero y las actividades son otros comportamientos abusivos.¿Qué debo saber acerca de la violencia doméstica?La violencia contra una pareja o un niño o niña es un crimen en todos los estados. Cada año, por lo menos 2 millones de mujeres son abusadas en este país. El abuso les ocurre a las personas de todas las razas, edades, estratos económicos y religiones.Las personas que son heridas por sus parejas o padres no causan el abuso. El alcohol y las drogas no causan el abuso, aunque sí pueden empeorar la violencia. El abuso puede empezar, continuar y aumentar durante el embarazo.¿Qué puedo hacer si yo o mis niños somos abusados?Primero, asegúrese que usted y sus niños se encuentren seguros. Vaya a un lugar seguro, tal como la casa de un amigo o familiar o a un refugio de emergencia. Llévese a sus niños consigo. Llame a la policía si piensa que no es seguro para usted dejar la casa por sí sola, o si quiere intentar acusaciones legales en contra su abusador.Si es posible, llévese llaves de su casa, dinero y papeles importantes consigo. No use drogas o beba alcohol en esta situación, porque necesita estar alerta en caso de una crisis. Los miembros del personal de los refugios de emergencia pueden ayudarle a presentar una solicitud para una orden de protección de la corte.¿Cuáles son otras maneras en que puedo encontrar ayuda si soy abusada?Hable con su médico quien puede darle tratamiento para cualquier problema médico, brindarle apoyo y referirla. Llame al refugio de emergencia y pida información sobre asesoría sicológica y grupos de apoyo para usted y sus hijos. Enfermeros o enfermeras, trabajadores sociales y otros profesionales de la salud también pueden ayudarlo.Para mayor información:Si usted desea obtener más información acerca de la violencia doméstica y los nombres y teléfonos de los refugios en su área, entre en contacto con las siguientes organizaciones: . (17)National Domestic Violence Hotline (Línea de Emergencia Nacional de la Violencia Doméstica)
800-799-7233
http://www.ndvh.orgNational Coalition Against Domestic Violence (Coalición Nacional Contra La Violencia Doméstica)
www.ncadv.orgV.A.S.T (208)265-3586
215 S. First Ave.
Sandpoint ID, 83864

Podar Y Control V.S. Igualidad (13,14)
Poder Y Control Igualdad

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CITATIONS

Materials quoted/used as reference for this webpage:1. “Stalking” Idaho Coalition Against Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence.2. “Power and Control Wheel” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.3. “The Sexual Violence Continuum” Idaho Coalition Against Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence.4. “The Domestic Violence Victim’s Handbook” Idaho Coalition Against Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence.5. “Power and Control Wheel for LGBT Relationships” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.6. www.preventchildabuse.org. Prevent Child Abuse America. Information on child abuse prevention from website.7. ”Wheel of Equality” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.8. “Nurturing Children” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.9. “Domestic Violence 101" Idaho Coalition Against Sexual Assault & Domestic Violence.10. “Teen Power and Control Wheel” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. Adapted by V.A.S.T.11. “Consequences of Sexual Assault” Connecticut Sexual Assault Crisis Services, Inc. Adapted by V.A.S.T.12. “Abuse of Children” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. 13. “Podar Y Control” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. 14. “Igaulidad” Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.15. “Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner SANE Training” Linda E. Ledray, RN, SANE-A, PhD, FAAN16. “State of Idaho Standardized Domestic Violence Curriculum” Idaho Peace Officer Standards and Training.17. www.familydoctor.org Information about domestic violence in both Spanish and English.

18.  "Wheel of Power and Control" Adapted for Women's Substance Abuse.  Domestic Abuse Intervention Project.

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V.A.S.T. October 2006.

NEW Information on Elder Abuse:

Take a look at our new section on Elder Abuse.  Click on the Domestic Violence button and scroll down.


Women's Domestic Violence Support Group: Every Friday Noon-1:30pm

This is a support group for all women who would like to learn more about the dynamics of domestic violence.  If you suspect you or someone you know may be abused, have experienced verbal, emotional physical or sexual abuse and want help and awareness: This Group Is For You!  Lunch will be provided or please feel free to bring your own. For more information please call 265-3586 or 263-0658.


Woman Power

By Ginny O’Bryen Edwards

“Do you like me?  Do you like me?” Said the woman to her friends.“Cause if you don’t Please tell me why. I’ll gladly make amends.”“Am I OK?  Do you approve?” She shouted to the world.“If you don’t like me Say the word. I’ll re-arrange this girl.”“Can I help you?  Can I please you?”She said to all she knew. She gave her best To all the rest. Isn’t that what women do?“Where did I go?  Who am I?”She spoke into the mirror. “I think I’ve lost The inner me.” And in her eyes she peered.But somewhere deep inside her stare She saw the faintest light. It gave her hopeOf life somewhere And she began to fight.She shed to expect-ations Of what women are “supposed to”She dug around And soon she foundTo her own self she’d be true. And through her struggles she grew strong.With every step she’d flower. She began to love herself And found real “woman power.”Now this wiser person Reaches out at every chance To help others, Girls and mothers, Discover their own dance. So listen sisters.  Hear me out.You’re not alone in life. Lets share the load Along the road, Each daughter, girl and wife. Destroy the myths. Fulfill your wish For a full and happy life.

 


 

 



 

2007 - Bonner County, Idaho

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